endgame
by lanesa
Summary: believe in you, believe in me. how does the story end? (revolutions spoilers) [neo]


**endgame**

She is beautiful when she sleeps.

He watches her quietly; the even rise and fall of her chest, gentle flutter of eyelashes, the lines of her face, soft now, so unlike the fierce hard planes she dons in the waking world. Vulnerable, maybe, on someone else, but not his _(trinity)_, who is raging wind and snarling grace, an army unto herself. 

Sometimes he is afraid to touch her. Afraid to run rough fingers across pale skin, through trembling hair, swollen lips. Afraid to break her, for her strength to leach through his hands like blood across cut glass, afraid for this to be real,

_have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real?_

…afraid to wake up.

Sleep doesn't come easily anymore, but he is content for the moment to watch her, thigh melded to her hip, fingers brushing across homespun fiber, coarse and still and _her_. Her eyes are flickering in her sleep, shifting beneath weary lids, and he wonders what she can possibly dream of, caught in a dream within a dream as they are; this paradox of insanity that swirls and bleeds a mosaic of darkness inside their minds.

But she breathes, softly and steadily, and eventually his eyes close, too. 

**

_He knows this kitchen well. Knows the table in the corner, the cookies lying warm in the oven, knows this illusion of normalcy in a world gone haywire. Knows, too, those eyes, gleaming with the knowledge of something far away, vaguely disconcerting, and that smile, benign and inexplicable. The contours of her face may have changed, but she remains the Same.    _

"I'm scared, Neo," she tells him. 

"So am I," he says, and holds her close. 

It's too late when he realizes he has never truly been afraid until now _(never tasted so acrid, choked, in his throat; the recoil in his gut) _–  when she lies there, still and feeble lines, eyes full of something beyond him.   

He stares in horror, dawning comprehension flitting across his face, because most of all he can feel – _feel _the life draining away, seeping through his fingers that are clenched tightly around her hands, _(terrified). _

_(is this real?)_

_Her answers, as usual, are cryptic. _

_"Where is this going? Where does it end?"_

_"I don't know."_

_"You don't know or you won't tell me?"_ _He regards her warily, leery of half-answers and ambiguous mutters of choices to make and paths to take. Because even though he wants logical, cogent answers, he knows above and beyond all that he must believe.****_

"If you tell me we'll make it, I'll believe you." Her voice is tremulous, but her arms are steady on the controls. He reaches over and grips her hand.

"We'll make it. We have to."

They hold onto each other tightly, and though he wasn't sure when it came out of his mouth, words of empty comfort, he believes it _now_. Her hand is warm in his and they are in this together, alive, _(glorious)._

Belief has gotten him this far. It will get them through this _(lying broken on cold metal) as well. He brought her back once. He can do it again._

He clutches her fiercely, trying to comprehend the sticky crimson that flows across her skin, the way her breath hitches and wanes in an increasing tempo, in and out.

He cannot see, but he can feel. The glow of her eyes upon him, so full of love and acceptance and above all _faith_ _(unbearable)_, that he bows his head. __

Not like this, he remembers suddenly. Oh, God, not like this.

And for some reason all he can think of is that fleeting moment on top of the world, above the clouds, where the world was bathed in gold and he felt he could almost drown in her smile and wonder and dazzling, _(dazzling)_ beauty; before they plunged back down into the darkness where he belonged. But for the briefest instant up there, he thought he finally understood what happiness was. 

He never knew sunlight could taste so sweet.

Now he listens to the words she needs to tell him, suffused with all the love she has ever felt, and he sheds the tears he cannot shed from sightless eyes. He wishes for better things he cannot give; wishes for sunlight and bright skies where she can fly, and in that moment he believes. 

"I love you, Neo," she whispers, and he kisses her, gentle _deepsoulful_ kisses even as the pieces of his heart burn up his insides. Kisses her as the light in her eyes fades and she is still.         

He believes, because she believes in him. 

_The Oracle's gaze never falters, this paradox equation of potent cipher and stout matron who knows all the answers before the questions are asked and tells you only what you need to hear._

_So he takes in her words and remembers them, even at the finish._

_"Everything that has a beginning has an end."_

****

**

She is gone.

But now there is no doubt in his mind what he must do. The path is firm before him, blazing and unyielding, and through eyes that cannot see he has never seen clearer before.

He does not flinch when It appears. 

_/Speak./ _

_The Program Smith has grown beyond your control. You cannot stop him. But I can._

_/And if you fail?/_

It is blazing, raging inferno in his mind, and as it envelops him he has never been more sure. 

There is nothing left to lose.

**_I won't._**

This is how the story ends.

~*~


End file.
